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The Darwin Awards

9/1/2014

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The Darwin Awards are named after Charles Darwin and “recognise individuals who have supposedly contributed to human evolution by self-selecting themselves out of the gene pool via death…”.

In other words, they are about some of the stupid ways people have died.

Do Us All A Favor

PictureCharles Darwin
The Darwin Awards have been around since about 1985. They “recognise individuals who have supposedly contributed to human evolution by self-selecting themselves out of the gene pool via death…” (Wikipedia).

In other words, they are about some of the stupid ways people have died.

The awards are named after Charles Darwin, in a tongue-in-cheek representation of his Theory of Natural Selection.

There are five requirements to be considered for a Darwin Award: - The inability to reproduce (the nominee must be dead or rendered sterile) - Excellence (Astoundingly stupid judgment) - Self-Selection (the Cause of one’s own demise) - Maturity (being capable of sound judgement); and - Veracity (the event must be verified and documented by reliable sources).

Here are a few examples of past Darwin Award winners:

Cranky Handicapped Man

PictureDarwin Award winner 2010
On 25 August, 2010 in Daejon, South Korea, a 40 year old handicapped man in an electric wheelchair was racing to make the elevator before the doors closed. He was too late, and as the doors closed, he rammed into them.

The ramming must’ve made his frustration lessen a little, because he rammed into the doors two more times – and on the last time, the doors broke and he went ploughing through them, and plunged to his death.

If you search “Darwin Award Winner 2010” on YouTube, you can see the actual security footage of the whole tantrum.

Don’t Do Two Things at Once

On 7 March, 2002 a convicted felon by the name of Gerald who was out on parole was pulled over by the police… what the police didn’t know at the time was that the car was stolen. It had been driving erratically, so they pulled him over. The occupant exited the car immediately and fled on foot through dark alley ways and fields.

Without aiming at all, he blindly fired a 9mm Ruger semiautomatic handgun over his shoulder at the pursuing officers. He fired four shots in the general direction of the police. The fourth shot though did not quite make it over his shoulder. He pressed the trigger too soon, while the gun was raised, facing his head. He managed to shoot himself in the head.

Gerald died in hospital the following day.

Gone Fishin’

PictureA bunch of dead fish...
On 25 May, 1999 in Kiev, the Ukraine, a 43 year old man decided to do something special on the anniversary of his mother-in-law’s death. He would cook a feast up in memory of her. Before he could cook, he needed food, so he decided to go fishing… but not in the strictest sense…

We will never know why he chose the way he did to catch the fish… maybe he was particularly hungry and couldn’t stand the thought of waiting, but anyway, he connected cables to the main power supply in his home, and put the end of the cables into the river, creating an electric shock in the river. All the fish floated up to the top of the water. The man was in his element, probably imagining the feast he could put on with so many fish.

He waded in to the river to collect his catch… but in his excitement, he forgot to remove the live wire from the water, and therefore suffered the same fate as the fish.

Thinking With His Feet

An honorary mention must go to motorcyclist Michael, a 27 year old who lost control of his motorbike near the Kapowsin Highway, Washington. Michael was killed instantly when he was thrown from the bike onto the guardrail…

Why did this become a Darwin Award category?

Well Michael was steering with his feet at the time…

By Peet Banks 2014
Put together by Ashley Hall 2014
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