A glimpse at the lives and deaths of some who have come before us.
Manner of Death: Burned at the Stake
On 9 February in 1555, John Hooper was executed (or Martyred, depends on your point of view) for his beliefs and actions in the fight towards religious reformation!
John Hooper, born in 1495, had a tumultuous career in the Anglican Church, in an era when the war between Catholics and Anglicans was at its highest. As the Anglican Bishop of Gloucester and Worcester, he held a lot of power and influence in his diocese, and was not afraid to use it.
When Queen Mary Tudor, a staunch Catholic, came to the throne, he was not opposed to her coronation, even though Lady Jane Grey (the Queen for 9 days) would have better suited his end-game, being that she was a deep believer in the Anglican ministry. Unfortunately his support for Queen Mary did not save him from imprisonment, once Mary became Queen.
He was said to have been given sanctuary at Sutton Court, before being sent to the Fleet Prison on 1 September, 1553, on a trumped up charge of debt, the real cause being his religious beliefs – but for the time being, it was not officially a crime to be a different religion from one’s monarch.
In October of that same year that was officially changed. The law was repealed, and in March 1554 he had his religious titles and entitlements taken from him, with the excuse that he was a married man, and could therefore not be in the Church. The powers that be wanted nothing more than to kill this troublesome man, but again, the law stopped them. Instead, he was kept in prison until the Heresy Acts were enacted in December 1554.
On 29 January, 1555 John Hooper, together with other religious personages, were condemned to death for Heresy. He was sent to Gloucester, and on this day, 9 February, 1555, he was burnt at the stake.
It is said that he met his death with steadfast courage and unshaken conviction in his plight!
Manner of Death: Coitus Massively Interruptus!
“He’s the life of the party. Well, almost…” – Weekend at Bernies
Nelson Aldrich Rockefeller had a successful career. He was the Vice-President under President Ford (beating George H.W. Bush). He was also one of THE “Rockefeller’s”, who, at one point in time, were the wealthiest family in America.
Nelson had been having a naughty affair with his aide, Megan Marshack. During one of their naughty moments – right in the middle of it in fact, Nelson suffered a heart attack.
Megan, petrified about the consequences of ‘the act’ and the political repercussions that could follow, failed to call an ambulance for over an hour. Instead, she call a friend, who also happened to be TV personality Ponchitta Pierce. They immediately set up a ‘Weekend at Bernies” style death – moving Nelson’s body to his office, placing him at his desk, in front of a book he was in the middle of writing, which detailed his art collection.
Of course, the truth will always win out, and before long it was known that he did not, in fact, die appropriately at his desk… the full scandal was only whispered about though, as his family refused to have an autopsy done, and his body was cremated not long after death, assuring nobody would question the indecency in the future. And thus the Rockefeller name lives on!
Manner of Death: Moby Dick
Gouverneur Morris was a founding father of the United States, and was the author of a lot of the Constitution of the United States. In other words, a very, very important man in his time! He was also a bit of a tart, keeping a diary of his lady ‘conquests’. One such being the time he escaped through a window, to get clear of an enraged husband, only to injure his leg to the point of amputation.
Gouverneur’s manner of death could be quite traumatic for a lot of men out there, so… you have been warned! For some time he had been having some problems with his ability to pee. He felt there was blockage there (and there probably was – historians now believe he probably had prostate cancer). In an effort to relieve the blockage, he stuck a whale bone up the eye of his penis. Unfortunately the result of this act was death, instead of relief. A brave, brave man.
Put together by Ashley Hall 2013